I feel like such a jerk.
I forgot today was Library Day for my daughter at school, and here sits her library book on the end table by our front door. I feel awful.
You might be thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a library book. Return it tomorrow.” I know, and I will. But, here’s the thing. My daughter is a worrier and so conscientious. She cares so much about doing the right thing, especially at school. She wants to do well. She wants her teachers to be proud of her. Even on her way out the door this morning she was checking with me to make sure everything was in order for her day.
“Where’s my mac and cheese?” she asked.
“In your lunchbox, in your backpack.” I replied.
“My folder? My homework?” she inquired.
“Yep. It’s in there, too.” I said, as we hurried out the door to the bus. She had everything she needed for school.
Then a few hours later I remembered –
Library Day. Oh no. Her book. Dammit.
Now, I am sitting here, broken-hearted, thinking about how she must be feeling. Thinking about the moment the teacher says it is time for Library and the disappointment she may feel. It’s not her fault. It’s my fault. And I am so, so upset about it.
It’s not the first time I’ve forgotten, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Sometimes momlife just scrambles the brain. There is so much to keep track of and (attempt to) keep organized. Homework and spirit days, doctors appointments and birthday parties, play dates and speech therapy – and, those dang library books. Gah!
But, guess what? It will be ok. My daughter will be ok. The book will get returned, and it will be ok. Although I am feeling bad now, tomorrow is a new day. It is another fresh start, and I will use it to try my best to be a good mom.
Just like I did today.
And, even if things don’t always work out as we would have hoped, what more can we do than try our best?