When you have a child with a serious health issue, “routine” appointments are never routine.

Tomorrow we will be traveling for Evalyn’s cardiology check-up. Last November at the age of 8, she underwent her 4th cardiac catheterization where the stent in her heart that began to close up was ballooned open again. The cardiologists had hoped to put a new pulmonary valve in at the time as well, but were unable to, due to her crowded cardiac anatomy. The risks of performing the valve replacement at the time outweighed the possible benefits.

So now, one year later, we are going for a follow-up – a routine EKG and echocardiogram. We need to see how things are looking. If the stent has held. If we still have time before another cath or even open heart surgery needs to be performed.

Just routine. Nothing physically invasive.

But emotionally? Emotionally these visits are always invasive.

The build-up to the day involves a lot of anxiety – and a lot of denial, if I’m being honest. It is kind of my way of dealing with what is to come. And, I don’t think I’m alone in that.

I recently read a quote about not knowing if you are being strong or are just numb. I can so relate to that. I don’t think I’m being strong. I’m just doing what needs to be done.

We do what we need to do with our brave faces on for our children.

So, tomorrow BEFORE the crack of dawn, we will bundle up and drive 5+ hours to one of the best children’s hospitals in the country for a (not so) routine check-up.