“I’m going to keep you forever! You will stay right here with me! No school for you!” I joked, as I hugged my daughter tightly and we giggled.
“No, mommy! You no keep me! I go first grade tomorrow!” she said back to me between laughs.
“I know, Baby Girl. I know…”
They said it would get easier. They said last year would be the hardest, being the first time and all. They said this year would be better; that I’d be happy to see her go back to school after a long summer.
I don’t know why I am having such a hard time with this. My little girl is so excited to be starting school again. She missed her teachers so much and can’t wait to see them everyday again. I, on the other hand, am struggling. It’s deja vu all over again. Flashback to one year ago. It feels just as raw and real as the first time I had to let go and send my daughter off on that yellow school bus out into the world.
Nope, not easier at all.
Kindergarten. First grade. Sixth grade. Twelfth grade. College. I can’t see when this will get easier for me.
Letting our hearts – our whole worlds – walk out into the world alone without us is never easy. We have to trust that the world will treat them as we would. Trust that they will have everything they need. Trust that we can loosen our white-knuckled grip that we think is holding everything together, and let them go. Let them grow. But, it is hard – one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
To all the moms and dads having trouble letting go this year, you are not alone. So, so not alone.
Hugs In solidarity, my friends. So many hugs.