“February 11, 1996
I was sitting here pondering love. The whole idea – everything.
Then I was thinking that I love my grandparents, but it is so hard for me to tell them.
Then I thought about my mom. It is even a little awkward to say “I love you” to her.
Then I wondered, “Why is that?”
I had a drive-through COVID test the other day.
I pulled up to a line of cars entering a large white tent in a hospital parking lot. I could see from a distance that inside the tent were people in gowns with masks, gloves and face shields. My leg was shaking as I tried to hold the brake pedal down in the car line. I was nervous.
I had to talk to three different people before entering. One to make sure I had an appointment, one to take my license and insurance card, and one to hand me paperwork and briefly explain what was about to happen. I was assured they would only swab the lower part of my nose, and they would, in fact, NOT tickle my brain (my words, not theirs).
If our school district reopens for in-person learning, do I send my child?
Do the benefits outweigh the risks?
Or do I choose to continue distance learning or homeschooling in the name of health and safety, but deny my child of the important social and face-to-face aspects of school?
This is not an easy decision, but it is one that I will get to make for my child.
I drove for the first time in almost 4 months today.
I mean, I’ve been a passenger in a car, but I haven’t actually driven myself anywhere since mid-March. I had to actively look for my wallet in my bedroom closet in order to have my driver’s license on me. It was tucked away with my purse on a high closet shelf where other infrequently used items are stored.
Today I got it out and told my daughter I was taking her for a ride. And that’s what we did.
I’m getting stir crazy.
I want to get out so badly that I got dressed IN REAL CLOTHES for a livestream Amos Lee concert on Instagram tonight that I will watch alone in my own living room.
No one will see me. But, I do this every week because it gives me something to look forward to during these dark times.
We all want out.
I know. We want nothing more than to resume “normal” life and go places freely and see people. Really engage with others.
I am starved for social interaction.