Dear Little Man,
I have been wanting to write you this letter for a long time. I feel like there is a lot I need to say to you and apologize for. It’s been a little over two years now since you joined our family to make us a party of four. You are only a toddler now, but I feel like some things need to be said.
This. This picture.
I took this shot during a recent trip to the zoo with my family as a cute photo op, but its meaning has morphed into something so much more. It is a illustration of my life’s mission as the mother of this beautiful girl with special needs.
Today we returned to the Cardiac unit where my daughter spent the first 9 and a half weeks of her life. She needed to have a test that required sedation, and due to her heart condition she needed to be closely monitored by a Cardiac anesthesiologist.
As we walked through the double automatic doors, we entered another world. It was like we walked back in time almost 7 years. I didn’t think it would affect me this way, but it did.
Every morning I take a picture of my daughter before school.
It’s a tradition we started last year on the first day of kindergarten. Some days she is really into it and other days she is a mini teenager giving me her best “Come on, Mom” looks. But, we still do it.
It was not something I planned on doing. It just sort of grew from that obligatory first-day-of-school picture. It was actually my daughter who kept it going with her requests for more in those early days. I’m so glad that she did.
A few weeks ago, I went to the eye doctor for an overdue check up. I needed a full eye exam, so there was no way I could bring my toddler with me. I couldn’t do that to the other people in the waiting room. Or to the office staff. Or the doctor. Or my sanity.
Anyway, I was lucky that my husband was able to go into work late so I could head to my appointment alone. I knew it would be a long one since I would be getting my eyes dilated and would have to do a lot of waiting. I was not looking forward to it.